Precious Snowflake Syndrome

The tail end of a generation. We have had a lot of labels, most of us are familiar with the moniker "Generation X". I can say that I include myself in the tail end of that generation. It is the one that came directly after the "Baby Boomer" generation. The few years after I began growing up there was another generation... it is one that has no defined moniker... it is a "morphing" generation that we have heard referred to as "The TV generation", "The MTV generation", "The Pepsi generation", "Generation next", and a dozen other names that are there to tie in a current pop culture trend to the kids that are growing up from the early 80's.
It was within this new generation that things began to change. The 80's, the age in which style was disgusting, yuppies were making millions on the people that were spending as frivolously as possible, and perspective was something that no one could seem to find. The issue was that in this time when drugs were rampant in the highest paying jobs, children were accessories, and kids were being given names that were supposed to be styled and tailored for success: "Taylor", "Dakota", "Tyler", and a thousand other non-conformist names were designed to make these kids instant celebrities.
These kids were raised to act like their parents were acting. They were not raised on Lego's they were raised to be demanding and influential, and because of which now we are getting the ultimate backwash. The "influential" kids began acting as adults far too soon, never being reprimanded when they did wrong, and threatening to take adults to court if they didn't get their way.
I can remember being 13 years old in the early 90's and hearing about kids that were taking their parents to court for various reasons. These thoughts all came flooding back when I read on June 18th that a 12 year old girl in Ottawa Canada took her father to court for grounding her. He had decided that there were some online chat sites that he did not feel it was appropriate for her to be accessing. He put a block on those internet sites preventing her from accessing them from home. Later he apparently found that she had accessed those sites from a friends house and posted pictures of herself online that he considered to be somewhat risque. For disobeying him the punishment he imposed was to ground her for 3 days, she was also prevented from going on a school field trip, and he took away her internet access.
She in turn took him to court, and SUCCESSFULLY sued him. Judge Suzanne Tessier decided that the punishment was too severe and she ruled in favor of the child.
On June 19 Bill S-209 was approved by the Canadian senate and it headed to the house of commons. What is Bill S-209 you might ask? It is the "anti-spanking" bill. Yes, you read correctly, the Senate has passed a bill which may very well become Canadian law which will prevent any person of authority including parents from spanking their children.

Over the years I have watch things head in this direction, and I have done very little about it. In fact I looked with disdain at people that would allow their children to get away with things. When I grew up I remember being spanked when I would do something I wasn't supposed to do and it kept me on a straight and narrow path. I remember spending many afternoons being told that I was not allowed to leave my room... these days that is no longer a punishment.
Why was it a punishment when I was a kid? That's easy, I didn't have anything in my room other than books a few generic toys and an old turntable. When I was being punished I didn't have any of the entertainment items that we see littering children's rooms these days. If you were in your room for 2 - 3 hours it was boring, you didn't have video games and your own television, you certainly didn't have your own phone, but now a-days things are different. Parents put all of the entertainment in the children's room and they have no way of effectively telling the child "NO!"
I remember having a neighbor who was at the beginning of the next generation. I remember his mother reprimanding him. She even reprimanded me once.... it was the easiest punishment I have ever experienced. I don't really remember what I did, I probably swore and she told me that I was going to be punished and that I would remain in "Time Out" until I was sorry. She put me in the corner of a room and told me to stand there until I felt sorry. I think I must have freaked her out because I was so used to remaining in my room for 2 hours or more that I just stood there, and I didn't move. He son would stand there for 20 seconds - 1 minute and then say "I feel sorry" and she would tell him that he could go. I must have been standing there for almost 10 minutes and she got worried that I hadn't "felt sorry yet". I didn't understand that she wanted me to tell her when I felt sorry. When you are in your own room with nothing to do for 3 hours then you know what it is like to feel sorry. When you are standing in a corner for 10 minutes when you have a friend that is waiting in the same room for you to play then its not exactly a learning or growth experience.
Having experienced the stupidity of the "time out" I realized why my friend had no fear in acting out whenever he wanted because he would only have to say "I'm sorry" after 30 seconds of standing in a corner and all was back to normal. Now when I am out in public and I see a child telling his/her parents off I realize that these are the children of the "time out generation". These kids would have no idea what to do if they had someone bigger than them grab them by one arm and open hand smack them repeatedly on the ass before being put alone in a room without entertainment or outside communication. The kid would most likely start planning to contact their lawyer as soon as they got their cell phone back.
Back in 2002 I did have one experience that I will not soon forget. I was working at a place that I will refer to as the "Blue and Yellow hell" and I had been in the middle of one of the worst weeks. The Christmas rush was over and now people were in "return and repurchase mode". This is when they return the gifts they were given, they get a gift certificate, and then they wait a day and repurchase their gift as an "open box" item thus getting the gift back and keeping the difference of the gift certificate. There was a man that was in the store and he was upset over the fact that all the cheapest computers were sold out and they would most likely not be replaced for a few months. He began swearing up a storm. I told him that since there were children in the store if he did not stop the foul language I would have him removed from the store. He then "dared me to fucking do so", I had 3 of the biggest guys in the store aid me in escorting him from the building along with the assistance of an officer that was in building at the time.
I felt justified in my actions and proceeded to go through the rest of the day as I normally would. It was the next day that I had to do the same thing. This time it wasn't a full grown adult that I tossed from the store but a child and his mother. I was working on trying to keep the department running smooth when I suddenly heard, "NO! I FUCKING WANT THIS GAME! FUCK YOU! I WANT IT!" I quickly made my way to the isle where I saw a little kid that couldn't have been more than 7 years old clutching an XBOX game in his hands and the mother who was looking completely disinterested in her child as he continued to drop the f-bomb over and over again at her. I approached first trying to be passive by asking if there is anything I can help her with, and the lady said "No I'm just browsing". The child on the other hand continued to scream. I allowed this to go on for about 20 more seconds before I approached the woman again and this time I said "Ma'am I am going to have to ask you to control your child. This is a family store, and your child is screaming obsenaties at the top of his lungs. If you cannot control your child I will be required to have your removed from the store." She looked at me as though I had 9 heads and said something to the effect of "He is his own person and I will not stunt his personal growth". It was then that I had the 3 biggest guys in the store assist me with the help of another officer that was in the store in removing the woman and her precious snowflake. Being that the store was in tax free NH and there were a lot of out of stater's that would drive there we had a lot of officers that would frequent it to make sure that things were ok.

I believe that now is the time to shut down on the "precious snowflake" perspective. We need to take away the notion that children need to express themselves however they like. We need to take away the idea that children are smart enough to know what is good for them and that they will learn the most from their own mistakes. If we don't teach them that what they have done is a mistake then how are they going to make that decision? We now have a generation of children that are greedy, immoral, and lacking the basic ethics that we were taught when we were kids. Just because your parents may have assisted in screwing up your life doesn't mean you have to pass those ideals on to then next wave of miscreants. As a society we need to reform the way we view children, we need to teach them that they can't have everything they ever wanted just because they exist, we need to tell them that they need to know what it is to truly earn a reward. There is no such thing as entitlement and if they think that we are going to just give them everything they want simply because they say "I want it!" they are wrong!

Eventually I will have children, it will be a huge change in my life, but the one thing that I will not do is put them in a position of power especially since I have been fighting to get even the slightest bit of control my whole life, and when I fight and succeed it puts me in a position where I feel as though I have truly accomplished something and that I have earned what I receive.

I'll leave this blog with a quote from the late great George Carlin. This was his take on children from his standup special "You're all Diseased":
" Something else I'm getting tired of in this country is all this stupid bullshit I have to listen to about children. That's all you hear about anymore, children: "Help the children, save the children, protect the children." You know what I say? Fuck the children!

They're getting entirely too much attention. And I know what some of you are thinking: " Jesus, he's not going to attack children, is he?" Yes he is! He's going to attack children. And remember, this is Mr. Conductor talking; I know what I'm talking about.

And I also know that all you boring single dads and working moms, who think you're such fucking heroes, aren't gonna like this, but somebody's gotta tell you for your own good: your children are overrated and overvalued, and you've turned them into little cult objects. You have a child fetish, and it's not healthy. And don't give me all that weak shit, "Well, I love my children." Fuck you! Everybody loves their children; it doesn't make you special.... John Wayne Gacy loved his children. Yes, he did. He kept them right out in the yard near the garage! That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is this constant, mindless yammering in the media, this neurotic fixation that suggests that somehow everything--everything--has to revolve around the lives of children. It's completely out of balance.

Listen, there are a couple of things about kids you have to remember. First of all, they're not all cute. In fact, if you look at 'em real close, most of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either. The little ones in particular seem to have a kind of urine and
sour-milk combination that I don't care for at all. Stay with me on this folks, the sooner you face it the better off your going to be.

Second, premise: not all children are smart and clever. Got that? Kids are like any other group of people: a few winners, a whole lot of losers! This country is filled with loser kids who simply...aren't...going anywhere! And there's nothing you can do about it, folks. Nothing! You can't save them all. You can't do it. You gotta let 'em go; you gotta cut 'em loose; you gotta stop over-protecting them, because your making 'em too soft." - George Carlin