Box Office Flops

I would have loved to be in the think tank where someone spawned the notion, "Ok theres a guy that is famous, maybe an athlete, or a rap star, and he really wants to become part of this all white country club, and they won't let him in. So he gets bunch of his friends to come over and they all try to get in.... we'll call it..."Who's your Caddy?"" I would have simply stood up, and calmly walked over to the person that made the suggestion and smacked him upside the head.

I honestly don't know what is going through the heads of some of these people when they decide that they want to spent hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars on movies that are obviously so tightly focused on one general market that they couldn't possibly make their money back in the theater sales, and if you are going to focus on one market why would you choose a "minority" market? I don't mean it to sound insulting to anyone in particular but if you are going to make a movie like this, why would anyone put it out in the theater especially in the summer when movies like Transformers, Super Bad, I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry, are obviously showing signs that they will dominate the market.

But no... Who's your caddy was released, and it remained in the market a whole whopping week before it crashed and burned. Now keep in mind I am not saying that because it is a comedy movie focused on the black community that it is a bad movie, there are lots of movies that come out with the same target audience, but if the movie doesn't look like it is going to be an award winning comedy they don't spend the majority of their funds showing off the same trailer over and over again every 20 minutes on tv... they may show it a couple times to get interest, but let it go.

I picked that movie to rip on only because it was the most recent movie that this has happened to... I have seen my fair share of bombs in the theater and I keep hoping that hollywood will learn. But since they won't I figure I will help enlighten those of you that have not noticed how short the lifespan of a failure really can be...

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo - Cost: $65 Million. Made in the theater: $22 Million. Out of the theater after 3 weeks. Surprisingly they let it sit in the theater for that long. Falling far short from the original comedy, this was just painstakingly awful to watch. I refused to see it in the theater, and saw it when someone at my school decided to play it one night while I was working on one of my projects. Glad I didn't contribute even a penny to the 22 Million it made.

Stealth: Cost: $130 Million. Made in the theater: $30 Million. Jamie Foxx is doing really well for himself after the success of Ray. Now he decides that he doesn't really need as much fame that badly as he sets fire to his career with this stinker. Now he is back to working on television again.

Alone in the Dark: Cost: $20 Million Made in Theater: $2 Million. After having seen only one film from the director of this movie, here is a rule of thumb, if you see the name "Uwe Boll" attached to the director's tag then avoid the movie like the plague! He is a hack that has butchered a lot of the games that I liked playing as a child, and he ruined them by trying to make them "better". Needless to say he has never put out a single good movie. Every one he has touch has failed.

Date Movie: Cost $20 Million. Made in theater: $48 Million. This movie was one that people flocked to because it had a trailer that made it seem like it had potential as one of the better spoof movies. Thank god I was smart enough to know that spoof movies have been a horrendous failure ever since the Wayans brothers bailed on Scary Movie 3. Just because you make money on the movie, doesn't mean it is any good.

Soul Plane: $17 Million. Made in theater: $14 Million. After Nashawn Wade (Kevin Hart) gets stuck in an airline toilet. The plane suffers a minor disaster and has his dog sucked through a jet engine, he then sues the airline. After getting a large settlement of $100,000,000 he decides to start his own airline, called NWA (Nashawn Wade Airlines). The airline specifically caters to African Americans and hip hop culture. The terminal at the airport is called the Malcolm X terminal, the plane is "pimped-out" with low-rider hydraulics, a dance club, and the safety video is a spoof of the Destiny's Child song Survivor. With a description like that don't you just want to run right out and watch it? I didn't think so...

I can keep going with this, but its just too easy to find so many crappy movies, and yet I still can't fathom why they keep pushing this garbage out, why not save some of the money and put it towards better movies? I guess if you don't squander a bunch of money you just don't get the same budget as last year.